WHOLENESS: The quality of being complete or a single unit and not broken or divided into parts.
-Collins Dictionary
Two days in a row, I witnessed two altercations that took me back. A young man and a young pregnant woman were arguing and he told her he "didn't want her." She told him "this is your baby and you gonna feel it." The following day, I saw a young man that I remembered as a boy running down the street, and yelling behind him to a young girl saying "dumb (female dog)." (No, he didn't say the word female dog) Lord!!! I wanted to intervene in both situations so badly to comfort those women, but I felt lead to stay quiet. I also have personal knowledge that my temperament in situations of this nature could result in possible jail time for me. It is not God's will for me to go to jail, so I need to stay in God's will. It hurt me badly though because it was like looking into a mirror of my past, and I know very well how deeply those experiences hurt. So I will say this to women when it comes to personal relationships, be it boyfriend, family, etc:
If a loved one is in a place where their heart is hardened, and they walk in darkness, and sin is heavy in their lifestyle, they will likely NOT hear you! Yes, God can transform anyone in any situation, however if they are not in the place where they will yield to his spirit, your words, especially if you are not actively walking and seeking him for yourself, your words are falling on "death" ears. Dead ears! Spiritually dead ears! We as women and notice I say we, feel that we can find the right words or take the appropriate actions to modify a man's behavior. That has gotten me nowhere, how about you?
Again, it doesn't have to be just a man's behavior we seek to change, it could be anyone we are connected to. It doesn't mean that God won't work on someone and change them. He could and may use you as a conduit to facilitate the change, however this is not where your focus should be. You have to start with him. You have to start with strengthening your relationship with God for yourself. Seek ye first the kingdom and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. Yes it is God's will for us to pray for others, but he wants you first to have peace and be whole within yourself. Your wholeness and value only comes from him. Nobody else can give it to you. I believe this is one of the roots of dysfunction in our intimate relationships today. We expect others to define our value and when they do or don't we are left hurt and fragmented.
As the saying goes, if I knew then what I know now, I would have saved on alot of frustration and tears. That's my hope for you, especially the women of faith; that you will be made whole. Again, wholeness starts with building on your relationship with Christ and allowing him to build value in you with his love and his word towards you. When you do this and things such as tumultuous relationships come in any form, you will be more compelled to stand your ground in your integrity, and if it means the end of a relationship, then so be it. You will be willing to be more inclined to be a little lonely and be with Christ and be at peace, then to deal with unnecessary hell or ill treatment.
I'm telling you what I know birthed from what I have experienced. Please believe me, those who love and truly love you will rise to the standards of Christ in your life or they will flee, either way wholeness in Christ will cause you to accept whatever choice they make. Stay with God because he knows your value and died for you, and has the best in mind for you.
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